Ako’y Isang Sirena: Lived Experiences of Feminine Gay Filipino Men Coming Out in a Catholic Household

Coming out is a complex, deeply personal experience, particularly within collectivistic societies where familial and religious structures strongly dictate individual identity. Guided by Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis (IPA) and indigenous Filipino psychology (Sikolohiyang Pilipino), this study explored the lived experiences of feminine gay Filipino men navigating disclosure within Catholic households. Five purposively selected participants aged 18–25 from the University of Perpetual Help System DALTA–Molino Campus engaged in in-depth semi-structured interviews utilizing pakikipagkwentuhan (informal storytelling), pagtatanong-tanong (unstructured questioning), and pakapa-kapa (exploratory probing). The analysis revealed three overarching themes: (a) selective concealment due to social judgment, (b) family’s gradual acceptance of self-expression, and (c) the limited role of religion in family life. The findings indicate that while participants initially endured profound moral anxiety and identity concealment due to traditional gender roles and institutional hiya (shame), these dynamics evolved as families prioritized domestic harmony and kinship over rigid theological dogmas. Ultimately, this study contributes a critical decolonial framework to Philippine LGBTQ+ literature by repositioning the coming-out process as a relational, collective journey rather than an individualistic Western milestone, offering vital insights for culturally sustained family counseling practices.