Embodying signifiers of silent suffering, frequently envenomed by envy disguised as patronising pity, enraged as a result of admiration never returned, duped by their naïve belief in gay (capitalist) Eden, stress-ridden, moving through a psychosocial reality that almost never fails to disappoint, split between a deadly wish to speak in monotone with their larynxes, bodies and dicks, and a little flicker that tells them to resists this urge, too many homo men express, in the guise of the composite character I describe below, the emotional battleground created by the new bourgeoisie’s deployment of the breathtakingly beautiful masculine homo male body as a sign/image vehicle in asserting its own social domination in a late capitalist society. The character I develop here can be read as a simulation and fabulation of the homonormative new bourgeois self as a syndrome with a range of affective cripplings coming from the technologically assisted channelling of homosexual desire via the mass circulation of the imaginary of the homo new bourgeoisie.